setting sun

My mother in law took a turn for the worse today. Chances are she won't wake out of the narcotic haze that is keeping her out of excruciating pain. She had surgery today, and there is so much cancer inside, and it is growing so fast that they can't even keep up with it. It seems to be a matter of days, before something fails. This vibrant woman will soon be gone and the effects will ripple across the universe. She will be remembered. I would love to write about cross and all that, because it is life for me. But, this woman who went with me to get the engagement ring for my wife 19 years ago, who has embraced and accepted me, who is not perfect, and has made some wrong turns in her life, loved so openly that the loss will create a void in a land where love lost is impossible to replace. Life, is here, and gone.

Is today the day birdy? And I smile.

Inside

The world is so far away,
I'm tucked in shell
wondering if I should come out
To the sight and sound

Dull senses and overload
all at the same time
Sleeping it all away
Putting it off for another day

Wake up spitting
It's the venom
that is anger
that makes me see red

And crawl back inside

The Mud, The Fashion

This weekend was the oozing blood of cross, the seat of the soul. Epic courses which brought out the real crossers. Brought down an 8th at Surf City and a 5th at CCCX. The A40 crew was out in style. I had some epic battles out there, and of course the obligatory poison oak. Only this time was a first, poison oak in the eye lid, fun..... Anyway, little man raced at CCCX and as you can see got the pro treatment from DP, what a stud, first race of the season and he hits the baddest ass course, slippin and sliding having a blast. He is concerned about finishing last. I told him don't worry, some day he will be rockin'. Little Miss was out as well, and I must say, she gave me the most rightous bike change I have had all season. She was awesome, we had a blast! It is nice when it all comes together, to reward them we went to Krispy Kreme on the way home. Well, I may have had one or two. Now it is back to reality, this is the first chance I have had to get to the blog. Thingas are a little crazy. Oh well, the pics say it all.

The Blood The Passion

This pass weekend is what cyclocross is all about. The weather was not very cross like but the scene was awesome. The course was hard and challenging. Reward the risk takers and slap down the tenderfoot. That is what it is all about. I learned that Hernando is intimidated. That blows me away, the guy has more jous d' vie than most people, and after a mechanical he came by me and all I could do is watch the train go by and battle it out with my other midpack cohorts. The champ rode a sunday casual to another district crown, and still found fault. Hoefer marking The Brit Ironman all the way to the wire. BJM looking sweet with the chops and glasses, and floating through the sand to easy V. JRob the ultimate athlete not having a great season, but keeping the perspective and seeing the big picture with a heart of gold. The BBQ scene was beautiful. As I was able to sit back and see my real teammates enjoy the smack talk, the brats, the beer, I realized why I wait all year for CX season. It's fun. Pure and simple. The reason I training like an idiot, pouring on intervals stair runs over week, only to fight it out in obscurity in the heart of the bell's curve. Watching it all unfold, the beauty, the chaos, the smiles, the uncertainty, the moment. I curl up my fist, to keep it all in, but it goes faster than I can keep it.

I am wide awake, I am not sleeping